I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
