that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
