if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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