i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
