Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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