And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
