you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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