As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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