Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
