im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
