it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize