Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
