i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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