Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
