Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
