Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just forgot I was standing up.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
