your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
