just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
