it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
