dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
