absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
