Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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