More tranny stories later!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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