i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
