So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
