Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
