What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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