i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
