just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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