That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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