Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
