I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
