yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
