sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
