I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
handjob tips. give me some.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
