this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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