If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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