How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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