People in love make me want to vomit
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
