I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
