one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
