In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
