Ambien. No doubt about it.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
