there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
