maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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