So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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