At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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