This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
