I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Found your dick twin last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
