He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
