wakey wakey hands off snakey
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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