So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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