I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
