I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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