Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
