the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize